Today.

"'Cause everyone's perfect in unusual ways, you see, now I believe in me." ~ Demi Lovato

In the past couple of weeks, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on my life. I've been thinking about where I was and where I am. I used to be scared of saying my opinion and speaking up. I used to be scared of standing out and being different. I used to think I had to do what other people wanted me to do and be who others wanted me to be. What I used to think couldn't be further from the truth. I used to think I would never make it and be able to follow my dreams. I used to think I was good at nothing. I used to think a lot of negative thoughts. I used to think I wouldn't make it to graduation. I didn't believe in myself. 

But why? I don't know. I used to let people push me around and do what other people wanted me to do and let them boss me around. When I got to college, I realized how destructive that was, but I didn't really do anything about it for awhile. A little over a year ago, I made the decision that I couldn't keep doing that. You know what? This past year has been the best year of my life. 

I went from staying in the shadows to making my own path. I followed my dream to Los Angeles and had an amazing time out there and an experience of a lifetime. I went from feeling worthless to feeling like I was worth something. That's where I'm at today.

The last decade has been a bumpy ride. I expect the same of the next. The difference between the last decade and this decade is who I am. I'm no longer the girl afraid of her shadow. I'm the girl ready to take on the world. No more clouds to keep me down, just sun for me. I know the next few years, a lot will change. That's okay. Change can be the most terrifying thing and the most exciting thing at the same time. 
I don't know how I'm going to manage a living in LA, but that's okay. I'll make it work. So I may have to get a place that isn't that nice and maybe get an air mattress or a futon for the beginning, but that's okay. I know that I'd rather have very little, love what I'm doing and be happy than have a lot, hate what I'm doing and be miserable. What's the point in that? I've seen too many people go a different path because it was easier or more stable, but then you're setting yourself for a lifetime of misery. I've always believed in following my dreams. Now I have the heart, the courage, and the faith to follow them. Because now, now I believe in me.

So lookout world, because I'm not a pushover anymore.

(also, if you haven't, give "Believe In Me" by Demi Lovato a listen. while you're at it, check out "Warrior", "Skyscraper", "Catch Me", and "Got Dynamite" too.. and the rest of her songs)

peace.love.happiness.