I'll be home for... wait, not this year.

Well, Thanksgiving has passed which means it is officially CHRISTMAS TIME!! YAY!

Yes, I am excited. I love decorating and listening to Christmas music and getting in the holiday spirit. I already decorated my Dunkin (which looks awesome by the way).

You see, being away from home this time of year isn't the easiest. Last year was the first Christmas away from home, and I tried to be strong for everyone and mainly look at it as just another couple days (Christmas Eve) because up until last year, I hadn't even been away for New Years. It wasn't bad last year. We facetimed, and I was surrounded by people here. But, as decorations start popping up and songs keep playing, I can't help but think of the traditions I'll be missing out on again at home. I miss my family. My favorite part about the holidays is being with them. I don't care about the presents, the food, the decorations. I care about the time spent together. My last Christmas at home was actually my favorite Christmas Eve/Christmas. I got to spend time with all of my immediate family on both sides. It was one of the first holiday seasons with little to no stress. It was all I could ever ask for. Growing up in a divorced home wasn't always the easiest on holidays because you're wanted in a couple different places (which is a good thing, looking back). There's only so much time in a day. Over the years, we came up with a plan that worked for everyone. That year, we had our routine down. That's all I ever wanted.

But here I am, 3,000 miles away and thinking about our traditions and how, even when it was stressful, at least we got to be together. I know it isn't easy for my family for me to be away. I know this doesn't help, but I just want to say I miss you guys and I'm sorry for missing out on the festivities and family time again. As hard as it is, know I will be okay. I love you.

No, I won't be home for Christmas this year, but I'll try for next year.