To Everyone Back Home

Well, it's officially July. This time a year ago, I was saying my goodbyes. I was 15 days away from making the biggest move of my life so far. I was 15 days away from the unknown. I didn't know where I was going, what I was going to do, or anything really. All I knew was, I was ready to start a new life, to chase my dreams. Well, I'm still chasing them.

To everyone back home who knows my potential and knows I'm not quite there, I'm telling you the same thing I was telling you a year ago, don't worry. I know I have disappointed some people. I know people want me to get a film job or a tv job. I do want those. The thing is, I'm not particularly unhappy where I am now. I know, I know. I didn't go to college and get a film degree to work at dunkin donuts and become a manager. On the plus side, I'm learning management. More importantly, I'm learning responsibility. I'm paying my bills (sometimes cutting it close), but I'm paying them. I'm surviving. I'm staying afloat. To me, that's more important right now. I'm proving to myself that I can do it. I know it's been almost a year. I know the longer you're out the harder it is to get back in. I'm working on it. Don't worry, I'm working on it.

I'm also working on myself. As most of the people closest to me know, my mental state wasn't always the best. I downplayed my mental state a lot when I was younger and probably should have been more proactive about it sooner. The thing is, I made the decision to work on myself and get better. This past year has been amazing in so many ways. For the first year in a while, I've had more happy days than depressed ones. That is something worth celebrating. For the first year in a while, I've focused on myself more than others. For the first year in a while, I've been confident.

So, no, I don't have an industry job. But, at least I have a job and am paying my bills. At least, I haven't given up. I know my journey is slow. I have a knack for taking the scenic route. However I get there, I'll know the journey was amazing. However I get there, I'll get there. Don't worry. For the first time, I'm saying that truthfully. Don't worry.

For now, just be happy I'm happy. That's what I am. I'm proud of what I've done in this past year. I'm proud of myself.