Everyone Needs a Role Model

As I write this, I am listening to an old video from September 17th, 2011 of Demi Lovato singing "Skyscraper" and talking to the audience. For those of you who don't know Demi Lovato or her story, if you google her name, you'll be able to find it. Demi has been a role model to me since 2008. Her music has helped me in my lowest times. It has also been there in happy times. Since her return in 2011, she has encouraged people to embrace themselves and who they are. She has encouraged people to find happiness and to get help if need be. She has continuously thanked her fans for being there and always dedicating songs to them. She has been a voice for a generation who so desperately needed it. She has decided to battle the stigma with mental health and battle the celebrity norm of being as skinny as possible. She promotes good health, both physical and mental. 

Every time I see her in concert, she puts on an amazing show. Somehow, each show is better than the last. Yes, I am a huge fan, a lovatic. I have seen Demi in concert seven times (three this year alone.. Neon Lights Tour in March, World Tour two weeks ago, and tonight at the Vevo Certified Super Fanfest). I will continue to go to her concerts throughout the years. One day, I will meet her and thank her for everything she has done and for her music. 

For now, I just wanted to post. I just got back from the concert tonight. Some of you know why I've been so dedicated. Some of you have probably speculated. Even if she didn't promote what she does, I would still be a fan. I have been before her image changed and she became a true role model. 
She has been my role model for a while, and I'm glad she is. I'm glad teenagers today and younger and people my age and older have someone who they can look up to who isn't trying to be fake and be someone they are not. Demi is real, she doesn't put on a front when she interacts with fans. She doesn't hide things or try to cover up imperfections. That is what this generation so desperately needs. In a world so focused on trying to be perfect, she proves you don't have be somebody else's definition of perfect. You should be your own. 

Thank you for being a role model. Thank you for touring and sharing your story and being brave and putting everything you have into every performance.

3000 Miles

The past couple of blogs have been about the good things of being here in Los Angeles. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. Moving across the country, 3,000 miles away from your life-- family, friends, childhood, pets, places, memories, everything-- there are bound to be some challenges. 

First off, I do miss everyone. Don't think I've forgotten about any of you. You cross my mind daily. I genuinely mean it when I say I can't wait to see you again, and I look forward to seeing you. It's not like we haven't done this before. So this time, I'm not just 100 miles away and an easy two hour car ride, it's a six hour flight plus the time it takes to travel to and from the airport and time in the airport, but I'm still where I was in a way. It's the same, just a matter of the mind. 

There are nights and days when I wish I could see those closest to me, but I know I can't. At least we have phones, and facebook, and pictures. I like to not think about being 3,000 miles away and how I don't know when I'll see people next, but sometimes, it crosses my mind. That's something none of us can help. I'm sure you have some tough nights too. I'm here. 

I know holidays will be tough. We don't know if I'll be home or not, or if I'll be able to come home depending on work and what not. But, we shouldn't worry about that. Even if we're not together on the days we normally are, at least we'll be together at some point. 

For me, the main thing that I wish I could be home for is this Saturday. The premiere of our film 26.2mi Closer to Living at the Boston Film Festival. It's my directorial debut, and I won't be there to share the joy of showing this film to the city it was made for with the people who put so much (and best friends), a year's work plus sleepless night after sleepless night, into this 12 minute film. I would love to be there more than anything. I even considered flying out early in the morning and flying back the following morning, but that's just a little insane. I'll catch you at the next film festival. Just like I'll catch you at the next holidays. 

I'm not the first person to move 3,000 miles away in this family, and I won't be the last. We are a family that seeks adventure, a family that seeks something different. To quote Francois Rabelais, "I go to seek a great perhaps." Go, I did. Seek, I am. We move to see what will happen, to make a dream reality, to not regret the what ifs we are left with later in life. 

This is where I am. When I hear certain songs, they bring to moments with my favorite people. When I see certain pictures, I laugh at all the memories. Sometimes, on the days I need it most, I hear something (like the Proclaimers song "500 miles (I'll Be)") and just smile because I know you guys are with me every step of the way. Just because I'm 3000 miles away doesn't mean I'm gone. I'm here. I look forward to the next time I see you.

Two months

Today, I am happy, and that is all that really matters to me. As of yesterday, I have been living in Los Angeles for two months. In that time, I have made many new friends, gotten to know the area, bonded with old friends, and have been working at the first Dunkin in LA. 

Today was the first time I saw the line at Dunkins be only a few people. To most East Coasters, waiting more than 10-15 minutes tops is too long for Dunkins. However, when there is literally only one Dunkins, you can expect people to be waiting for an hour or more. Today, it was a long line that dwindled later on. It was a great feeling watching that line slowly become normal. Now, working at this new place that is talked about everywhere, you'd expect some crazy things happening. The other day, I served Alyson Hannigan and her family. That was exciting. I treated her like a normal person.. it was a Sunday morning after all. A few other celebs have passed through, but not too many yet. On Wednesday, Ellen (yes from the Ellen Show) set up a skit in our Dunkins to air on her show. No, she wasn't there, but I did make it on TV. You can click on the link here. That was pretty cool. Granted, I was more impressed by the film equipment in the back. 

Life has been pretty good. No, I don't have a TV job yet, but there's still time to find something. Right now, I'm happy. That was the most important thing to me.

I've been spending most of my time working, but when I have days off, I listen to my new record player and watch Netflix. Occasionally, I walk around the area. Surprisingly, I have mostly morning shifts (well, they start in the morning) and have to get up early on a regular basis. That's probably for the better. Routine is kicking in, and so is growing up and being responsible. I know to put away money for bills first rather than spend it on something I want. I know that working overtime may be tiring, but it will be worth it when that paycheck comes. It's also fun. Something about working and paying my bills makes me feel good about myself. Working is also just fun. A day at Dunkins is a mix of everything. You get angry customers, but for every angry customer, there's 20 happy ones (at least). They make it worth it. So

(almost) One month

Just a few days shy of a month since I took that flight from Boston to Los Angeles. 
This time, a month ago, I don't really remember what I did. It was a Monday. I remember what I did on Sunday and Wednesday and Thursday. That Monday and Tuesday,  wait a minute. I think I remember. Nope, just what I did on Tuesday. For some reason, I just don't remember what I did on that Monday, unless that was the day my brothers and I went to Red Robin. The last couple weeks home all kind of combined together. Some moments are definitely very clear, especially the goodbyes. But a month. I survived a month in Los Angeles. 

Once again, I'm here instead of on the East Coast with my siblings for our birthday. It's definitely a different feeling. Not many people would really be able to understand. Yes, it would be nice to celebrate with Sam and Jeffrey. However, at least I get to pick what I do on our birthday. Which, in case you were wondering, my friends and I are going to the beach for the day and then to a bar we have gone to a few times for some drinks and dinner. It'll be a fun and relaxing day. I expect to facetime with my other two thirds at some point (if you two are reading this, let's plan a time that works for all of us). It'll be nice. Then, when the three of us are together again, we'll celebrate like we did last year two months later. In my mind, a day is just a day. Yes, we were born on the 16th of August. No, that does not mean we can't celebrate at a different time.

Anyways, here's the update on life in California. If you follow me on instagram (@lvc816), you'll have seen my new hashtag of #_dayof365. I started this on August 2nd (just a random day), and originally, I was going to post the sunset every night. That got a little boring. Basically, I'm posting a picture every day of something that happened. Whether it be a place I went, outside, a sunset, something I made, etc. It's just a way to see what I've been seeing. It's also a way for me to remember this year. It is an important time in my life, with everything changing. Moving out is a huge step in growing up, and I'm doing it. It's been a month, and I'm still here. I still love it. No regrets on moving across the country.

No, I haven't gotten a film job yet. I worked on a webseries called Starstuck, which you should all check out once it's up. That was fun. I just recently got hired to work at Dunkin Donuts, pretty much the first one in Los Angeles. It opens up this month. Right now, we're training. Next week, we get to make the food and coffee (I can't wait to have a dunkins iced coffee). That'll be fun. It's something to help me make ends meet while still looking for a film or television gig. 

Some things I have accomplished in this last month (with some help.. Thank you Mom and Dad): apartment, car (the first one that is truly mine, and I don't have to share), insurance  (so expensive out here), job, making new friends, eating fresh fruit and vegetables, keeping my room clean, becoming a responsible adult.

A couple fun things: intern mixer, Qu in LA Afternoon, hanging out with Kim, Jazzy, and Shane, seeing dolphins at the beach with Lauren, getting Diddy Riese cookie ice cream sandwiches (I know, kind of cancels out the whole fresh fruit and vegetables), watching Guardians of the Galaxy, enjoying a night out in West Hollywood, walking around Westwood, learning my way around the city, sitting (or standing) out on the balcony at night gazing up the stars. 

It's been a great month. I hope the following months go well and hold many new adventures. I also hope to find a tv or film gig soon, but I know it'll work out. Everything will be worth it.
Even though I don't know when it'll happen, I look forward to when my family comes out here, and I'll get to show them around and take them to my favorite places. I miss you all, and I can't wait until the next time I see you. It'll be soon enough. I'm always thinking about you guys. I love you. Jeffrey, give Eddie and Meeka some food from me and some extra pats(pets, petting.. just play with them and snuggle with them please).
 Even though it's only the 15th, Happy Birthday Sam and Jeffrey, can't believe we're 22!

peace.love.happiness.

No Place I'd Rather Be

Well, it's official. I have moved to Los Angeles. I have an apartment. I have a car. I'm still working on the job. I did have a shoot the other day that was great. 
While writing this, I'm listening to "Best Day of My Life" by American Authors. It's been stuck in my head since I got here.
I'm all moved into my apartment. It's a nice place, brand new building. It's a little like dorm style living. I'll have two other girls in the same room as me, but they won't be here until September 1st. That's right, a triple all to my self which is great for adjusting and being able to move in and arrange/organize my stuff. There's a stove and oven, microwave, dishwasher (although handwashing is easier), and a washer and dryer here. It came fully furnished. It's in a safe area with security cameras and what not. Oh, and I have a nice place to park my car in the parking garage (no, I was not affected by the water main break about a mile from here, luckily). 
The other day, I was driving when it hit me that I'm really here. This time, it isn't just for two months. This is my new home. That is an equally exciting as it is terrifying feeling. It's like starting college all over again, not really knowing what to expect. All I know is, I'm here. I'm not leaving any time soon, no matter how much I may miss home at times. I have to give myself at least a year (preferably more) to stick it out. Think about it. We all need to get jobs, we all need to move out of our parent's home, and make a life for ourselves. So why not make it on the other side of the country? Why not? This is the last chance in my life I get to just pick up and leave without anything tying me down.. no job, no significant other, no kids. What better time than now? 

I do miss my family and friends, but I have friends here too and family ( I may not know them very well, but hey, they're still family). The week leading up actually flying out here was tough. Saying goodbye to people and not knowing when you'll see them is not easy. I hate goodbyes, then again, who doesn't? I prefer taking the not actually acknowledging it as a goodbye rather a see you later route. Saying goodbye to the people who have been there for me my whole life, not an easy thing. Talking to them is so wonderful, but also so hard. While at school, I had a tendency of not talking to people at home, and while at home, I had a tendency of not talking to people from school unless they were nearby. I guess, for me, it's easier to not think about it. So, if I don't call you often, don't take it offensively, it's just my coping mechanism for being 3,000 miles away from you. Also, it makes the phone call more special. Like today, I got to talk to my grandmother. It was so nice to hear her voice. I look forward to the next time I see you.

Back to the craziness of this week alone. I'm sure by now, you've heard about the thunderstorm at Venice Beach that resulted in 13 lightning strikes hitting people. That was Sunday. Lesson learned.. there is still weather to be tracked out here. Tuesday, there was a water main break near UCLA (which is less than a mile from me). The pipe was 93 years old. Really, the city should have replaced it. The water resulted in a sink hole. I decided it would be best to avoid that area. Luckily, no flooding occurred over here, just a bunch of helicopters. Today, there was an earthquake measuring 3.0 by Manhattan beach, about fifteen miles from here. I didn't feel anything. Hopefully, there won't be a big earthquake any time soon. Let's see what happens tomorrow.

You know what is so great about Los Angeles? During the day, it's absolutely beautiful outside. It gets hot, but not humid. At night, it cools off so nicely. It's perfect sleeping weather. I was standing on my balcony before writing this and just stared up at the sky. I am so grateful for the opportunity to move across the country and to have the support from everyone back home. Come visit whenever. 

Well, I'm going to get back to Orange is the New Black (I finally started watching that show). I can get in a couple episodes before I go to bed. It's only 10 here. 

Thank you for supporting me. I love you.

peace.love.happiness.

A new song

So lately, I have had a couple lyrics running through my head. I didn't take the time to actually write them down and form a song out of them because I figured I should be packing. Then today, I decided to write. I don't have music to it yet, but that can be added later. Here's my new song, just written a little over an hour ago. Let me know what you think!

also... 3 more days on the East Coast!! I'm getting excited. And packing is coming along well.

I’m on my way

I’m not here to stay

I’m on my way

Off to LA

I don’t know when I’ll be back

But don’t you worry you see

I’m off to the place

Where I’m happy as can be

The land where my dreams will come true

Oh I’m on my way

But don’t you worry

I’ll be back some day

I won’t forget about you

Just the pain I’ve been through

No longer a need

For this town for me

It was great growing up

But it’s not longer for me

Oh I’m on my way

Off to LA

I think we all saw this coming

I was always meant to leave

Because these dreams of mine

Are too big for this town

Oh I’m a small town girl

With big city dreams

So I’ll say so long

See you later

Off to the sun I go

So I’ll say so long see you later

Oh off to the sun I go

One day you’ll see why

I had to leave

One day you’ll see why

Oh don’t you grieve

This is what’s best for me

I’m a small town girl with big city dreams

Yeah, this is what’s best for me

Life is Changing

I haven't blogged in a while for a couple of reasons. First off, I just didn't know how to put everything into words about everything that was happening. Second, I lost my computer charger for a month and just recently found it (It was under some clothes on top of some boxes). 

So, what has happened since my last post? Well..
I had my last set of finals
I graduated college
I visited Sam at Bowdoin
I saw her graduate college
I went to England (London, Wittering, Isle of Wight, Godalming)
I drove to Long Island with Sarah for Amy's grad party
Had our grad party
Hung out by the pool
Hung out by the ocean
renewed my license
closed one bank account and opened up another
drove to the Cape
slept
went mini golfing at Pirate's Cove
ate ice cream
and just enjoyed the last bit of being in Massachusetts.

oh yeah, I bought my plane ticket to Los Angeles. I'll be heading out there on July 17th. 
Am I excited? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes. Life is changing quickly right before me. All four of us are graduated, and it's now time to put what learned to the test. It's time to make a life for ourselves. Moving across the country is one huge step, but isn't the first step you take the longest stride anyway? I'm moving in eleven days, and I have nothing set up yet. I'm not really worried about it. I'll figure it out. For the time being, I'm just going to enjoy my last week and a half on this coast with the people who love me. I'll try to do everything I want, but it is a short amount of time, and I still have a lot of packing to do (and unpacking and sorting). Starting tomorrow (since I'm still down the Cape, enjoying my last few hours here before I don't know when I'll be back), packing begins. It starts with a list, followed by some sorting, followed by packing. If you're reading this and are bored, feel free to come on by and help with this process. :) 

When thinking about what to write for this post, I had so many thoughts going through my head. Now that I'm writing, none of those seem relevant right now. Maybe another post in the future will include the graduation feelings and the chaos of everything to come. At this moment, I'm relaxed. So i'm going to enjoy that.

until next post

peace.love.happiness.