let me start off by saying, yes, I am a feminist, but not the type who hates men. I respect a lot of men, but those who give a reason for it. The ones I don't respect are the ones who don't respect me back. Let me tell you, that list tends to grow day by day unfortunately. It seems that men (just for times sake, I really mean some men, not all when I say men) don't quite get when they're being a little too friendly or a little too blunt.
For example, today we had a repair man come in at work. He started off by calling me "dear". I am not your dear. As soon as you said that, you already put me underneath you. You already took away any respect and any power I have because that term can kind of belittle someone. Same with sweetie, honey, lovely, babe etc. next, he proceeded to over explain where the leak was coming from, literally telling me the same thing 7 times (at least) without me even asking. I told him okay, I see it. I got it. Not, please tell me again the same thing over and over when I have a store to run. Then when I offered him coffee, it was like, oh, now's my chance to flirt. No. I run a coffee shop. Every tech/repair / or whatever service based job it is to work on the store in some way gets the same offer.
Later on in the night, a guest came up to the window and literally said, hi lovely.
He was twice my age at least and I wasn't even at the order window, I was at the pick up window.. Which no, is not to pick someone up.
I'm tired of being nice and that being taken as flirting. I'm tired of smiling and that being taken as flirting. I'm tired of being called dear it sweetie or baby or honey by men I don't know who, 75% of the time, are twice my age. You are not my boyfriend, family, close friend, or even someone I know. Stop. Would you want some complete stranger calling your daughter honey or sweetie or baby or lovely? Would you want your daughter feeling uncomfortable knowing she was just checked out by some stranger and they didn't even try to hide it? Or when a girl goes out, and a guy just keeps trying even after the girl says no or that she's in a relationship or makes up something. The fact that we have to lie just to get you to go away is stupid in itself. Or when you have to pull the shade down at work because men are staring at your female employees while they bend down or stretch to get donuts or whatever and make them so uncomfortable, you literally have them stay in the back for a bit while you send a guy on register to shoo the creepers away.
I understand we currently have a misogynist as our president, but come on. Get a clue and keep your comments to yourself. Just because you are a man doesn't give you the right to treat women as objects and keep trying after they've said no or just call women terms of endearment when you don't know them or even if you do. It's just as bad when you work with them because all respect goes out the window. Just by calling someone "sweetie" in a work environment, you're asserting your dominance. The worst part is women have just learned to shrug it off because why are we making a big deal, we should be flattered. No. Change your way of thinking.
It's not fair when you're just as strong or independent as your counterpart, but you have to double check when you go outside at night that no ones around or that you walk outside in a safe area and you still have to be alert.
Guys, you're not all bad, but if you have a friend you know is like one described above, talk to him because you know women deserve respect (just like men). You don't talk to your sister, your mom, your grandmother that way, don't talk to a complete stranger that way.
It's already hard enough being a girl. Don't make it harder.
That concludes my rant. Normally I just shrug it off, but sometimes you have to speak up. I enjoy being independent and strong, but I'm reminded more and more these days that I am a girl, and I only fear it will get worse as Trump gets more comfortable in his presidency and becomes more of misogynist than he already is.
