Live.

Currently, I'm sitting on the couch with a full stomach. For that, I am thankful.

I am thankful for having parents who encouraged me to reach for the stars. I am thankful they also taught me how to cook. 

Today is my first holiday away from home, and I am okay. I am thankful to be here in Los Angeles. I am thankful to have been able to talk to my family these past two days even though they are in Massachusetts. I am thankful for being able to go to the beach today, to be able to have cooked a Thanksgiving meal on my own, to be able to watch this beautiful sunset today. I am thankful for my family and my friends. I am thankful to have people to care about on both coasts. I am thankful for having a family of friends on this coast. 

I am just thankful to be living, breathing, and being able to enjoy this life.

Happy Thanksgiving from my home to yours.

Breaking free

Today is November 26th, 2014. It's Wednesday. The last time November 26th was on Wednesday was six years ago, in 2008. That day was like any other day before Thanksgiving. It was a half day. A group of us got together, ordered pizza, and worked on our Spanish project due after the long weekend.  What changed that day was what we found the following evening. We found out our grandfather passed away. Grandpa, I know you're still watching over us. Now, you're probably playing soccer and coaching up there. I miss you, and I love you. Six years gone by is hard to believe, but they have. 

Normally, when I remember someone in my family who has passed, I don't put up a blog. Normally it's a commemorative post on facebook. This year is different. In 2008, I lost two grandparents (separate sides of the family) 4 months and 10 days apart from one another. The weird thing was both were on Wednesdays, both dates ending in a 6, and both days, we ate pizza. Now imagine my mind back then. I made it a point to not eat pizza on a Wednesday that had a 6 in the date. I just didn't. No, I still haven't eaten pizza on a Wednesday with a 6 in it since then. However, this year, I realize, that it was just coincidence. It was in no way some sign from the universe. It just so happened there were odd similarities. I realize that now. It wasn't some jinx. It was just their times to go. 

On this day this year, I want to thank you, Grandpa, for being so great. Thank you for instilling soccer in our family. Thank you for raising three children, one who is my father. Thank you for picking Grannie and I up right before it started raining. Thank you for the many weekends we spent together, just you, me, and Grannie when I was just a kid. Thank you for one of my favorite memories that I cherish (that time you asked Grannie to dance when to a Ray Charles song that was playing on tv when you were in the nursing home). 

And for the amount of times we caught you napping in your chair and we would wake you up by shouting...
"Ready, on the count of three, 1...2...3.. WAKE UP GRANDPA!"

"When other helpers fail and comforts flee, help of the helpless, oh, Abide with me."





Six years is a long time to let something like a coincidence control you. This year, I am breaking free of that anxiety.I know you'd both be proud.

Just around the corner

The last few days, I've been doing a lot of thinking. It's November. Thanksgiving is just six days away. Christmas is just over a month away. 

At this time last year, I was getting excited to head home for Thanksgiving Break, a whole week off and time spent cuddling with my dogs, hanging out with family, planning on doing that homework I would ultimately put off until the Sunday night I got back to school, and catching up with friends. Of course, planning out Thanksgiving from where I'll be at what time to what I'll cook and bake to shopping plans the following day. 
This year, I'm not on that trip back home. I'm not getting the warm greeting from my dogs. I'm not catching up with my best friends from home. I'm not spending a week with my family. 
However, I am still planning what I'll cook and bake (so for any California friends, come on by for some yummy food like green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, stuffing, scalloped potatoes, and probably some chicken and some corn), what I want to buy on Black Friday, and spending time with new friends.  
These next five weeks are going to be different. We all know that. I'm trying to focus on the positive (like being thankful for the opportunity to live in California). While focusing on the positives, I also think about all the other things, but then I remind myself that I did choose to move across the country with uncertainty of when I'll be able to come home next. People visiting here helps. I saw my dad and stepmom for a couple days and got to show them where I live and take them to In N Out, Diddy Riese, and the Santa Monica Pier. Even though it was only a couple days, I enjoyed every moment of it. I know when more family visits (and friends), I'll enjoy every moment. That's something else I am thankful for. I may not get to see you guys a lot, but that has made me appreciate the little time together so much more. I look forward to the next time I am home (which will probably be in the spring). However, I also look forward to tomorrow and the next day and the next and so on because I am learning to enjoy each day. 

Even though I won't be home for the Holidays this year, I'll make them special somehow. Don't worry, you'll be getting pictures of me at the beach while it's snowing back home.

I know Thanksgiving is next week, but it sure doesn't feel like it. Maybe that's why it's a little easier not being home (at least today it is) because it feels like middle of June, not November. It's still 60s, 70s, and occasionally 80s here. 

Life is good. I'm happy here. I'm learning every day and growing up. Things are changing, and that's okay. 

On that note, expect more posts in the next few weeks. We got a couple big topics coming: being thankful, Christmas time, and my favorite, the end of a year and the chance for a new beginning.